Get Real - The New Old Age

Read about the "dangers" of focusing on the belief that we have control over our destiny when it comes to how we age.  Getting real about living a healthy, active life and understanding that there are certain aspects that are out of our control is the most healthy way to approach getting older.

See the article here:  Ageing disgracefully - get real.  http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/politics/ageing-disgracefully--get-real-20120420-1xc6m.html?rand=1334930765109

Have a great day!

Angela Gentile

Assisted Loving - A Sweet Story

Here's a link to a sweet, short, 15 minute story about mature love.  Enjoy!

http://vimeo.com/35191718

Have an awesome day.

Angela Gentile

The Shoebox

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.  They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoebox in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoebox and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two knitted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000. 

He asked her about the contents. 

"When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and knit a doll." 

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness. 

"Honey," he said, "that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money?  Where did it come from?"

"Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the dolls."

- Anonymous

Language and Terms for People who are Past Middle Age

There are many terms used for people who are in the 60-ish plus age category.  Those who move from that undefined "middle age" into the next age category don't want to be labeled with a negative term that makes them sound "old".  Sometimes I wonder when did "old" become a bad word?  The majority of today's older people are remaining quite active and longevity is challenging our beliefs about the ways in which we refer to our older population. Words such as elderly, seniors and senior citizens often conjure up negative connotations.  Political correctness, and acceptable language is helping to eradicate ageism and help people in their later years (and others) look at their stage of life in a positive light.  Here's what I've found in my research in terms of language:

Thumbs down to:
Seniors (now considered passé to the Baby Boomers) 
Senior Citizens
Elderly (associated with the term geriatric or those who live with senility) 
Old
Seasoned
Aged

Thumbs up to:
Older adults
Third age (the age of personal fulfillment termed by the late Peter Laslett) 
Active agers
Elders (Very different from elderly.  Adopted from the First Nations community in Canada.  Elders are revered for their wisdom and life experience and the title Elder is a compliment in First Nations communities) 
Active Older Adults
Baby Boomers or Boomers (those born between the years 1946-1964)
Retirees (if in fact they are retired)
A person aged _______ (fill in the blank with their age with no other label)
People aged _______ (fill in the bland with an age-range with no other label)

Maybe:
Pensioners (mainly a U.K. term)
Older people
Older person
Mature-aged

If you're really struggling :)

Old = Chronologically gifted or experientially advanced
Old person = Gerontologically advanced

Just as we would call someone a child, a teenager, or an adult, I think it's most acceptable to use the term "older adult" when speaking about those who are in the 60-ish plus age category.  Middle age can span many years, and that magical time when one becomes an older adult is quite individual and undefined.  In Canada, one receives the "Old Age" Pension when they are 65.  Is this the magical age then?  Not world-wide that's for sure.  There is a more definitive breakdown from there - the young-old, the old-old, very old and the oldest old. 

Remember the old saying, "To Me, Old Age is Always 15 Years Older Than I Am", Bernard M. Baruch.

Whatever term you decide to use is okay as long as you do it with good intentions in mind.  It is never okay to refer to older adults in a negative manner as this perpetuates ageism and puts our views of aging in a negative light.

Age well,
Angela Gentile

Focussing on the Positive Side of Turning 65

I came across this great website, The Eldering Institute, and I was quite impressed with the positive messages that it has about the second half of life, and more specifically, turning 65.  Eldering ceremonies, education sessions, and other material is available to those in the USA, Canada and South America.  Here is their "Vision", taken directly off their website:

The Eldering Institute Vision

The Eldering Institute® is about what we can do, and more importantly, 

who we can be as we grow older. We are committed to creating a new interpretation 

or paradigm for the second half of life—one that allows us to experience love, 

health, happiness, creative self-expression and being valued and to have as much 

possibility on the last day of our lives as we had when we were born.

Our purpose is to supply support, training and development, books and materials 

for those engaged in transforming the paradigm of aging.

To get more information on The Eldering Institute, please click on this link: http://www.eldering.org/.



Age well,
Angela Gentile

The Dirty Old Man in Pop Music

There is a song by a popular female artist Kesha called, Dinosaur(2010).  Although the tune is catchy, when you listen closely to the lyrics, you quickly realize that it is about a young girl that is complaining about an "old man" looking at her.  This conjures up negative feelings in me, and it perpetuates a "dirty old man" image.  I wish the younger generation would not produce songs like this because it puts old age in a negative light.  This is called, "ageism".  This is where people assume that older people do not deserve to be treated with respect and do not deserve the same privileges of the younger adult population because of their age. Ageism is harming our society, and songs like these aren't helping the situation.

Here are some of the lyrics:

Oh man, Why are you starrin' at me
Mack on me and my friends it's kinda a creepy
You should be prowling around the Old folks home
Come on dude! Leave us alone

When Kesha was discussing why she wrote this song, she said,

"Dinosaur" came "about [when] this old guy who was hitting on me, and his toupee was kind of falling off, and I was like, "Oh my God, you're so old, you're prehistoric, you're like a dinosaur. D-I-N-O-S-A-you are a dinosaur." (From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_%28Kesha_album%29)

 
Click on this link to see a music video (not the official one) of Ke$ha's Dinosaur: http://vodpod.com/watch/3578477-dinosaur-kesha-music-video.


Angela Gentile

Over 90 and Loving It - Documentary

Over 90 and Loving It is a new documentary about people over 90 and all the wonderful things they are doing.  Getting married, getting Master's Degrees, and Breaking World Records for the Pole Vault. are just some examples.  It looks like a great video, and I look forward to checking it out.  Kudos to Excutive Producer and Director Susan Polis Shutz for a job well done, and putting a positive view on the "oldest-old"!

Check out the Over 90 and Loving It website here: http://www.over90film.com/.

Age well,
Angela Gentile

Positive Aging with Arnie

It is encouraging to see positive views of aging in the media.  There is far too much negative out there, and I wanted to share this commercial that I came across on TV.  It's about an older man who is getting ready to go out to see two older ladies, and he realizes that his glasses are not quite cutting it anymore.  Kudos to Lenscrafters for a well-done advertisement and presenting older adults in a positive light.

Here is the link for the video on YouTube.com, "Arnie and Two New Lovely Ladies" : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46tvMsrb8MM&playnext=1&list=PL72B6B98F3E986396

Age well,
Angela Gentile